January 4, 2016

Time to get a grip

Ok this is going to be a pep talk, perhaps in the Drill Instructor style. In other words it might be a little harsh, but remember I am preaching to the choir-that is me! My news feeds are filled with moms posting about how much they miss their kids. Holidays are a double edged sword-if they get to home you miss them desperately when they leave. And if you did not have them at home it can push you into the hole of despair.

So my dear sisters here is a word of advice. Set a timer. You can have a pity party-trust me I have been indulging in one as my kids were all together for my mom’s Arlington National Cemetery funeral three weeks ago. Having them all with me was like being wrapped in a warm blanket. Having them leave, including one to finish a deployment is like having cold water thrown on me. It’s jarring. I will never get used to it. But it has to stop at some point-hence the timer.

Why stop? Because our kids need us to be strong. We cannot depend on them for our mental well being. They need to depend on us. The more we mope around the greater chance they will sense things are not right. They do not need to be distracted by us. Since they were little we took care of them. We scared away monsters in the night, put notes in their lunches, and stood guard on the playground. Now that they are further afield they need us to take care of them in a different way. We need to encourage them and make sure they are not worrying about us. It is hard to do that in a fog of misery.

So brace up. Have a safe shoulder to cry on and then get busy. Do something-anything to get you out of your funk. Help others. Better yourself. My daughter in law is going back to college through this fifth deployment. That is just awesome! Take control of something you want to overcome. Use that energy that comes from loving your military loved one in a positive way.

This is how we hold down our home front. This is how we show who we are-American Military Mothers (and fathers and spouses) who have the guts to endure whatever it takes until our loved ones’ duties are done.

ONWARD!!!

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12 thoughts on “Time to get a grip”

  1. I’ve got to read this over and over !!! Keep it on hand and then read it again.
    True words of wisdom! Love it.
    Thank you

  2. Great advice! My Marine didn’t get to come home for the Holidays but I’ve kept myself busy making Blue (and Gold) Star Glass Mosaics to sell to help pay for my trip to visit him in Hawaii later this year!

  3. Until I read this I wasn’t sure where my silver lining was during the 14 years my son didn’t have his primary residence with me but with his dad 15 minutes away in another town. I saw him of course but it’s not like raising him full time under your Ian roof. I guess I was already being prepared for him going to college and those days most moms miss their kids, and now — for him stepping in to this next phase of his life. I’ve been encouraging my two boys since a young age to consider the Air Force like their grandfather – and have been in prayer about it quite a while. This experience has actually given me the unexpected benefit of more time with him via the daily letter writing and preparations for my visit in 48 hours to Lackland AFB, San Antonio TX. I miss him of course but can now pray for all you moms and dads and other family members who feel the absence a little more than me 🙂 I’m so proud of our men and women who have chosen to serve and protect us…

  4. Exactly what I have wanted to say…..AND, while I love my hero son tremendously I will NOT demean what he is enduring by referring to him as “my baby”.

  5. This is exactly what I needed to hear (or read) today. Thank you. On a side note, my army son, only bought one Christmas gift this year, it was for me, his Momma, and it was your book. Brought tears to my eyes. I’ve got a few days off from work coming up, and will start reading!

  6. Well said! Thank you for the boost of encouragement to put on “my big girl panties”. I agree 100% with your sentiment. Thank you again!

  7. I’ve learned the more “needy” my Marine feels like I am, the less he actually wants to talk or be around me. He said they have a saying and I think it works for us moms too…Embrace the suck! Sure it sucks, not having them around, but you won’t die! Be the strong mom and I think we’ll actually gain more respect from our kids. Just some things I’ve observed from my Marine! 🙂

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