November 4, 2016

Fearless

Halloween with the ghost and goblins and things that go bump in the night is behind us. It is always a wistful time for me. I remember the anticipation of the kiddos as we worked through what they would be. In the early days I spent hours sewing costumes only to be discarded because “Now I want to be an Army guy Mom!’ or the Ohio weather requiring something to be worn over three layers of clothing. Tromping door to door combined with the pure joy they felt as they filled their bag with kindness and candy made all the hassles worth it. The year they each decided they were too big or too busy for Halloween was so sad. Another piece of childhood slipped away and I am reminded of that each Halloween

Now that they are grownups most of them are busy with those same preparations for costumes for their kids. But one is deployed in a place where things that go boom in the night occurs on a regular basis and I struggle with the fears that go along with that. What do you do with that angst when you know people are trying to harm your child?

Several months ago I bought the Fearless sculpture pictured below on a treasure hunting trip to TJ MAXX-my favorite place to go when I am looking for nothing and find everything.  It really has two meanings-to be fearless, that is without fear. My kids are fearless. They are well trained and motivated to do their duty no matter what the circumstances. The confidence I have in them and their abilities causes me, along with faith in God, to fear less.

Fear less. It is an act of the will not the heart. I have to work on it every day. I pray Gods protection with Psalm 91. I remind myself of all they have faced in the past, how much they have overcome. I pick up my knitting and meditate on good positive thoughts like homecoming and the next holiday they wll be home.

Becoming fearless is not easy. It requires a lot of mental and emotional energy. That means I have to cut off things that drain me anytime I can. I make an effort to stay balanced and focused on doing what mommas do-support my kid(s).

I know as we move into this holiday season many of you struggle. It’s very hard to contemplate those empty chairs at the table. As I am filling care packages I am trying to box up joy and love to take the place of home. It is not really possible to replace. But I am convicted that it is my duty to keep going, to do the mom things we have always done-try to bring happiness and comfort to my children, and to stay strong and support them so they don’t worry about me.

There is an old saying “Feed a cold, starve a fever”. This season my mantra is “Feed hope, and starve fear. ” Let’s all work to Fear Less and use our energy to bring joy where ever we can.

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