Here we go again. I am familiar now with the cycle of emotions. The dread of anticipation, the anxiety that accompanies the departure, and the slogging through each day as you mark off the calendar. I protect myself from drive by news broadcasts-the ones that announce a bombing or fatalities with no information.” Today in Afghanistan a suicide attack resulted in ISAF casualties.” What? Where? Afghanistan is a big country….
I spend time on my knees-a lot of time on my knees. I start walking again- purposefully walking to shut out the fears that creep in when I let my guard down. Because I must keep my guard up. I must be intentional to use my will to power forward and stay strong. I make time to create. Something in that process calms my soul. And I find time to look for joy-whether it is a view outside my window or a silly kitten video.
You do not get “used ” to deployments. You gut it out, embrace the suck, and power through them. Nothing will be the same until my child is on American soil again. I will walk with a heavier step, breathe more shallowly, and react more quickly. It is just the way it is.
My job is to keep moving forward step by step, day by day, and keep those letters and care packages flowing. I will store his stuff, watch over his truck, and take care of any personal business he can’t manage. I will pray without ceasing. I will fly a yellow ribbon, knit and pray, and keep my phone on ALL the time. It’s what we mommas of the military do. But I don’t have to like it, and I will NEVER get used to it.
Be Safe, Love Mom
Thank you! I needed this today. God is good and right on time. We are 1/3 of the way through his third deployment. Never gets easier. Never.
We will be experiencing his first deployment very soon. I’m sick to my stomach. Thank you for all your wisdom and encouragement. Time to embrace the suck and be an army strong mama!! As I type this in tears.
Thank you for giving words to my heart!
Thanks for this article. It portrays my thoughts and feelings exactly. God is my refuge and strength through each deployment of my twin sons. One is now deployed to Afghanistan for the 3rd time. One is in the U.S. for now. Between them there have been 8 deployments to Iraq and Afghanistan.
Blessings to you all
Hello Military Mom,
I can’t imagine your pain, however I want to share with you my personal experiences as a Navy veteran. Fortunately for me, I was never deployed anywhere overseas, however I was stationed overseas for a few years and I remember coming home a couple times on brief visits. I never realized the impact it had on my family, coming home for a few days and leaving again for another year or so.
Your message has touched my heart and I thank you for your thoughts and prayers for your son. I will keep him in my prayers as well as other military personnel. Stay strong.
Linda
Thank you so much. I appreciate your prayer support and your service.
Boy missing my son like crazy
Agree. Facing 5th deployment inJan. But now there is a grandson who will miss his daddy b
That is so hard.
Thank you for such a well written letter. I am trying to fathom how I will be able to face my son’s deployment in several months. I do read all I can and will draw strength from those who have been there before. I pray for the safety of all of our loved ones and their families in the military.
This letter embodies the heart of what it means to be a mom. I read this and ask myself how I can be strong when our time comes too. I pray for all the families and all the moms in that place that is the hardest – not knowing – having only your hope and faith to live on for long periods. I also pray for all the selfless men and women who are deployed to return home safe to their loved ones. Thank you for taking this on for all of us. God bless.
I read this yesterday, I had just gotten off the phone with my son, who was waiting for the plane taking him to Afghanistan to take off. I was a hot mess, crying and praying for God to keep his hand on my soldier and his unit. No one understands what it feels like to say goodbye to your child as they leave for deployment, except the other parents who are doing the same thing. Thanks for reminding me that I am not alone in this.
You are not alone!
Elaine, thank you for sharing your heart and feelings. Son deploying Wednesday and I am all over the place with my emotions. He is leaving son at home this time and baby girl coming in Aug and he won’t be here. Feeling helpless, but I know God will take care of him and his family. Praying for all those that are serving in our military.
Keeping your son and the rest of your family in my prayers. My husband, baby boy, and I are living in your old house in Ohio; while I’ve never met your son, I’ll be reminded of him as I pass through the doorframe with his (and his siblings’!) height measurements.
Oh that is so kind-I could not bear to paint over it. I hope you love that old house filled with lots of laughter.
Whether it’s my husband or our son (in law), deployments never get easier. Thank you, for all you do for others! You are an inspiring woman for your strength. My thoughts and prayers are with you and your family. God bless!
Thank you so much.
I am not a military parent, but this sums up exactly how I feel as a military spouse and deployments. My thoughts and prayers are with all of you parents who have children deployed, they are with your sons and daughters who are deployed, and also with the children who are missing their loved ones. You take it day by day, sometimes one minute or second at a time, but you do get through it. Wishing you all the best and prayers for safe keeping for your children who are deployed.
Thank you for your prayers-blessing to you and yours through your deployments
I just found you. Thanks for this. My son deploys for the first time in a few weeks.
Thank you for this my son is home for pre deployment he will be leaving soon on first deployment for 9 months and my heart aches he is my only son and i have 1 daughter