September 22, 2016

Some days it is just all too much

It feels like the sky is falling. The news is filled with protests, discord, and negative ads. I try to avoid most of it. With two sons deployed I need to  focus on staying balanced. It is a helpless feeling to watch the world seeming to spin out of control. And then bam-something happens to make balance impossible. I wake up to a headline ” US military jet crashes off the coast of Okinawa.”

My heart begins to race as I rapidly send off a text to my son in the area. “Are you Ok? ” not really expecting a response. Thankfully I had my answer in seconds. “I’m fine and he is fine too.” It takes a while for my body to respond to the good news. My fingers are still shaking as I type.

Welcome to my world. A place where a headline can change everything in an instant. A place where I feel totally out of control at times because I have none. With children in harm’s way or fighting the laws of gravity I remain hypervigilant. I am on guard at all times praying for calm and peace.

Now I am watching scenes from my youth. I remember driving through Detroit right after the riots. As I scroll through more headlines it seems to be deja vue. And once again I feel powerless. I hate the divide. I love people. I feel overwhelmed as I listen to hate and conflict.

What to do? The only thing I can from my spot here in Montana. I will be on my knees praying for peace and God’s protection for our military children. I will be praying for peace in our nation and that we can find a solution to what divides us. I will thank God that this aircraft accident had a happy ending. And I will focus on what unites us mothers-love of our children and wanting the world to be a better place.

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