August 31, 2015

A Bridge Too Far?

Mackinac_Bridge

If you have been a military mom ( or loved one) for any length of time, you know that saying goodbye is part of the territory. It never gets easier. It can get easier to bear if you have a plan. Mine involves knitting, prayer, and pushing myself above and beyond my own limits. As two more of my boys head out I am distracting myself by facing a pretty big fear. About 25 years ago I experienced a panic attack driving with my then four small children across the Mackinac Bridge. This impressive five mile span connects the lower and upper peninsulas of Michigan. As a small girl I heard my grandmother tell tales of cars being blown off the bridge. And that day with my babies buckled in I was hit with an indescribable fear as I traversed the bridge. Ever since I have been unable to drive it without tears and a rapid heartbeat. Quite honestly it really ticks me off!!! So to ” celebrate” ( not sure that is the right word) deployments 10 and 11 I am participating in the 58th Annual Mackinac Bridge Walk on September 7. Yes ma’am- I am walking all five miles of that swaying sucker even if I do part of it on my hands and knees. Maybe I will still be afraid when I drive it but I am going to lean in and not back down. And that’s how I face each deployment day. Lean in, grab onto it, push through it, embrace the suck. It’s what we do to keep the home fires burning- even if our heart rate goes up. One swaying step at a time….

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