August 6, 2015
Thanks to Amber for her thoughts today…
“It’s Classified”. Translation = “You don’t have a clue where your loved one is or what’s going on”. This has been the hardest part of being a military mom for me. The person that you bore, gave birth to, gave magic healing kisses to, cried with, laughed with, cried over and laughed at has answered the call and suddenly your phone line goes dead. So you wait, and you cry and you scream sometimes at the people who are still here, helping you survive one more day of silence.
You send care packages, crackers, books, music, beef jerky, spam for the Captain, who apparently loves the stuff and hope they actually got the package because there is no proof of delivery in Afghanistan.
My son joined the Marine Corp four years ago. My father is a Marine, my grandfather was a Marine who served at Gaudi Canal. My uncle was a Green Beret who gave his life serving in Vietnam. The pride comes with experience, but when it is “your son” it’s not the same. Teeter-totter of pride, fear, pride, fear. The silence is deafening.
And then they come “home” and they are not the same and you can’t understand it all or how to help them.
I am still in this process with my son.
Tears, prayers, learning to be ok when you feel like your guts are outside of your body every day….
That’s what I have for now.
Thanks for listening.
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